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Tuesday, July 12, 2011


the door to everywhere

Summer is here. Upper 80s the last several days. Kinda sweltering in town among the paved parking lots, roads and flat rooftops. Out here among the trees it's not nearly so hot. Temperature is close to the same, but it's not sweltering. I don't know if it's me or them, but some of the people I know have been acting very peculiar lately. Unconscious is how I can only name it, doing things that work totally against themselves and just as totally unaware of it. I know I have done similarly, so I understand how easy it is. It appears so epidemic right now it makes me think about staying home all the time. Gas prices make staying home all the time look better and better. I have my gas usage trimmed down to the very least I can do and go on living in this world. Last week I paid $40 for half a tank of gas.

Earlier in the day, talking with a woman of 93, she told me she saw a revolution coming. This is someone whose mind is not jaundiced like mine, who isn't always looking for the worst. I've noticed the older people I know are all talking like this, like the American people can't take much more being pushed down into poverty. From my own perspective, I can't see revolution, because American government surveillance of citizens is as perfect as government surveillance has ever been. Not only do we have agents infiltrating every kind of opposition group there is, we have agents getting groups started, teaching and training some terrorist activity, then having everybody arrested and sent off with life sentences for nothing. It's not right. But what is? The American legal system is as due reform as the British legal system was when our all too human forefathers rewrote it. FBI could really clean up here, with all the old people talking revolution. Round them up and put them in prison where they belong for terrorist thinking. People are arrested for much much less.

One of the things I think is happening that makes me aware of unconsciousness going on around me is that I'm coming into a place within where I see a little bit into what is meant by illusion, how it is that illusion is the nature of everything we call real. It's like I'm coming to see that all is without substance. I was alerted to this when friend Jim Winfield let me have it for thinking morality is relative---there is only good and bad, no in between. My next thing to say, which I keep to myself because I don't want to hear what comes next, is good and bad are, alas, interpreted, therefore relative, therefore illusion. I see there is no good and there is no bad. All is neutral like a camera. The consciousness that works the camera is the one that determines what the camera photographs. Considering that everything we do or say comes back to us, what hurts when it comes back we call bad, and what puffs up our ego when it comes back we call good. Good and Evil are totally subjective, handles to make holding a concept easier.

We call something that causes death evil. But is it really? God evidently sees death as no more than the blink of an eye, changing shirts, nothing to consider any worse than a nap. From our self-centered points of view, shutting down the ego is the worst of all possible evils. It hurts like hell to think about the ego shut down, fear of non-existence, fear of the unknown. How can something be evil that shuts down the body and ego, releasing the soul to Gloryland? Death is thought to be bad because nobody really believes Gloryland, Heaven, Yonder is waiting. Like the Peter Tosh song, everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Of course, the ones that know better know there is nothing the other side of death and feel smug toward people who believe God is. IT CAN'T BE PROVEN. That's horse shit. The joke is that you have to have the faith first before you can start finding out that prayer works consistently, therefore can be proven. It is faith that gets God's attention. It's hilarious that way. It's also just right.

I have found with other people's dogs that if I pay them no mind, they pay me no mind. They might come around and want attention, but if I don't give them attention, they quit trying and I become the same as invisible. If I look the dog in the eyes, speak to it, let it know I recognize consciousness in there, I am present for the dog. It is aware of me, pays attention to me, comes to me when I call it, takes me in as a friend. What I'm getting at is when we ignore God, God will in turn ignore us. God can't work with us if we don't pay attention. If we don't believe there is God, then there is nothing to pay attention to, and it's our attention that gets God's attention. I've had so many with superior knowledge tell me there is nothing to it. I know so well, FROM EXPERIENCE, that when I pay attention to God, God pays attention to me, that when I'm told I'm a fool to believe nonsense, it only makes me laugh. Same as a scientist laughs from certainty if I tell him I've had experiences with God, not hoo-doo experiences, but everyday life, out in the open sorts of things.

I tend to laugh at people who call themselves scientists and take science for a word that means they're informed and have the last word: IT CAN'T BE PROVEN, I know more than you do. Great. I'm glad for you. You'd be in (relatively) bad shape if you knew less than I do. Funny, working class testosterone expressions are about I can kick your ass. Middle class testosterone expressions are I know more than you do. Ruling class testosterone expressions are I have more assets than you have. When somebody comes at me with I-know-more-than-you-do, I recognize them as middle class, which is already visible by everything in their appearance. When somebody comes at me a threatening tough guy, it's obvious he's working class. You say there are no class distinctions in America. I differ. This place is class structured almost as set in concrete as India. Again, it's only denial that says otherwise.


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