Showing posts with label new years eve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new years eve. Show all posts

Thursday, January 1, 2015

WAITING FOR MIDNIGHT

pat monk

Already I have changed the wall calendar. Last year I waited a couple weeks into January, not for any reason but laziness. I like the Ramon calendar, big numbers, easy to make notes on. The hardware store used to give them out, then had to start charging for them, then quit having them. My bank gives them out now. One way or another, I'm still able to find one. Asked a couple days ago what my annual ritual is for New Year's. all I could think of was changing the calendar. We have the calendar New Year, the astrological New Year, the Chinese New Year, etc. Celebrate them all? Celebrate one? I pick the social New Year, Jan 1, the one the people around me celebrate. I have a hard time with one date as New Year's. It's like taking a ballpoint pen and marking a point on a child's rubber ball, saying this spot marks the beginning. How else would you place the spot but arbitrarily? To find out why January 1 is purportedly the first day of the new year, it would take looking at the history of the calendar we go by. My personal preference would be the astrological new year, the spring equinox, which seems it would be the more universal calendar. The other new year dates are specific to given cultures. Yet, I prefer these calendars. In Greece a long time ago, 1972, I brought home a Greek Orthodox calendar, a whole new way of looking at a year. Almost every day has something to do with a saint. Maybe they are more personal than the universal, have customs that go back multiple centuries, millennia. They need translation from one to the other like languages. I also prefer multiple languages to one. Switzerland prints three languages on their paper money, Italian, German and French. American white people want only English on our money, while the American reality is at least two languages. 

pat monk

I had a party to go to, one I wanted to go to, that didn't work out. I dressed up for a late night out in the cold, went out to start the car, hooked up the GPS, and the door would not latch. I could not close it. I can't go anyplace with an open door. The interior light was on, bitter cold winter night. I took the bulb out of the overhead light. I could not approach the problem with the door latch in the dark and intense cold. I raised the hood and looked with flashlight at what it would take to remove the ground cable from the battery. Naturally, it's a battery with new posts it takes a special tool to work with, a tool I don't have. Another light stays on inside that I can't remove the bulb from. Early in the morning, I'll try to start the motor, to let it charge the battery a little until I can find a way to fix the door. Something like this happens every winter on a bitter cold night. The car is 22 years old. The motor and running parts are perfect. It's the electrical, brake lines, external parts on the engine that are giving out. Every time I replace a part, it's new. I'd rather pay a mechanic to maintain an old car than make payments on a new one. I'd rather my money, energy, go toward a man making a living independently by his knowledge and skill, than pay into corporate police state. I call it living what I believe. I prefer the world of individuals to the corporate hive, the reason I live where I live. All my needs can be fulfilled locally. Friends ask why I don't go to Walmart for something I can get there for less than in Sparta. It's a ten dollar round trip to the nearest Walmart. Add ten dollars to whatever I might want at Walmart, and I'm better off to buy in Sparta. I don't want to go into Walmart anyway. For me, it's a moral issue. Walmart tramples the rights of individuals and regards their employees the same as cattle. I can't support that, even buying no more than socks.

pat monk

New Year's and Christmas, the holiday season, is a social time. It's about mixing with other people, having a spirited time, party time. I'm not one for standing around at a party with drink in hand playing pretend charming. I say, if that's what you gotta do, go for it. I prefer to stay at home most of the time. I can't blow party whistles, put on a pointy little hat and act like I'm almost three. I'm not a reveler. I've never had that kind of physical freedom. Inhibited. My preference is to stay at home and let other people act out the social part. I'm one of the people who call Christmas and New Year's just another day. My friend Jr Maxwell saw it the same. One New Year's Eve we decided to sit at the table with our drams and wait for midnight. By the time 12 rolled around, both our foreheads were touching the table. We had more to drink than usual. Both of us were drunk. Twelve o'clock was the end of our vigil. We could have taken another drink, but it would have put us on the floor. We didn't want to go there. We sat at the table talking for six hours. We came away from it thinking it the best New Year's ever. I don't recall a New Year's party that was more fun than we had at the table talking, laughing, getting freer and looser as time went by, talking stupid and laughing at everything. By twelve, only the force of will kept us awake. We were drinking liquor that was at least 140 proof, delicious liquid candy. Liquor affects different people differently. Both Jr and I were happy drunks making it possible for us to drink together in excess. Instead of getting red-faced and looking for a fight, we dissolved in laughter. Jr was one of the funniest people I've known. He kept me laughing for hours at a time.

pat monk

A day came to mind when Jr was in his frailty, though still had his mind. A friend of his dropped by one afternoon. He had a quart of liquor with blueberries in it he'd kept on a shelf for twenty years. Jr and I were sitting at our ends of the long sofa, each with our own table lamp. Friend drove up and came in the door already pretty far along. He stepped over to the couch, told me to get on over, meaning move to he middle of the couch, he wanted my spot. Ok. He pushed me with his upper arm. I caught a whiff of his aura of alcohol. He told great stories from past experience that kept both Jr and me bent over laughing much of the time. I'd never been this close to him before, and felt some powerful energy radiating from him, powerful energy. My feeling took it for the immense anger he carries. This is somebody that when when the guns come out, you want him on your side. He is comfortable with red-faced men looking for a fight. His face is twisted like a Picasso face from battering. The bones in his hands are so crushed that his outer three knuckles sank back about a half inch from usual. He told me that when a man first goes into prison, he thinks he knows how to fight. First thing he learns is he doesn't know anything about fighting. The liquor was so good that over the course of an hour or more, the three of us drank the whole quart. Friend kept us rolling with laughter telling comic stories. He is a comedian. He likes to make people laugh. Jr and I were a great audience for him. I won't tell about his stories. They are all "inappropriate," racist, fascist. His opinions make Rush Limbaugh sound discreet. I would be asked to leave DCP if I were to retell any of his stories. The real comedy was in the telling more than the stories themselves. I've seen Jr almost fall out of his chair at the table laughing at friend's telling of one of his stories. They weren't necessarily true. That part didn't matter, the same as a number on a calendar ultimately does not matter.

pat monk himself

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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

NEW YEARS @ DUDLEY AND MUFFET'S ESPOUSAL

 newlyweds about to be

My friends Dudley and Muffet got hitched up last night. Neither one appeared to have any regrets. They spoke their vows just a few minutes before 12. Somebody turned on the big flat-screen tv. It's like New Years doesn't take unless you see it on tv. Of course, this is not what it's about. The tv is the official countdown clock that puts everybody in the country in sync with the atomic clock so everybody blows their whistles at the same time. It wouldn't do for all the parties in the Eastern time zone to go by clocks a minute or two off in either direction. Precision timing. Somebody told Dudley in jest to put on Guy Lombardo. Suddenly, the wedding party became a New Year's party with just a few minutes to go, champagne poured all around, hugging, kissing, people saying Happy New Year to each other. A good feeling atmosphere in the house. It's not in me to take an interest in weddings. I tend to see them as Divorce Part One. It's a jaundiced view. I'm well aware of it. But I still don't like weddings and only go to funerals of friends. Dudley and Muffet are my friends, so it's only right by my own standard that I go to their wedding, especially since invited. It was a small group of thirty-something. Dudley explained to me in conversation before the festivities that given the size of the house they wanted a guest-list of twenty or so, family and closest friends, but they couldn't stop at twenty. There were plenty of others they felt needed to be included. Dudley said, "This is what I love about this place. If you don't invite one of your friends to your wedding, they continue to be your friend." I thought: We'll see.

prenuptial horseplay
 
Muffet I have known mainly through the coffee shop in the Selma era as Dudley's woman when she arrived on the scene. Their bond was already set. I felt like she brought out the stallion in Dudley, a part of himself he'd had to shut down for several years. He and Muffet were high school boyfriend and girlfriend. After school everything changed for them. Each eventually married and went different ways. Dudley's first wife, Caroline, had a long, slow death from MS. Dudley cared for her, like nothing you've ever seen, for several years. He took such care of her it was past commendable. It was Dudley being Dudley. He feels deeply and he thinks deeply. The spontaneity of a child is present with him, ready to pop to the surface like a laugh at any time. Dudley is somebody I can talk with freely and laugh with frequently. And Dudley is, by my own personal reckoning, a true human being. He has a cultivated sense of humor. I don't mean cultivated like sophisticated, though it is that too, but with a lifetime of practice behind it. When we get together, laugh is much of what we do. We talk, though our talking amounts to commercials between rounds of laughter. In our childhoods, we were both characterized by a nerd's bewilderment over the ridiculous world around us, the nutty belief systems, the rarity of the rational, sports, like that. I was able a little bit better than Dudley at camouflaging myself a non-nerd. It never took, but I affected the show anyway, wanting to believe it worked. I didn't get picked on for being a nerd -- the point of the cammo. Then I saw Revenge Of The Nerds, and now I say: Nerd Power! I feel like Muffet's affection for Dudley has much to do with his spontaneity and humor. Dudley is not afraid to care. She knows that too.
 
the vow
 
I enjoyed Muffet from the start. That she was with Dudley opened me toward her, and I enjoyed talking with her. We have been facebook friends for some time, the occasional conversation by way of comment boxes. They went off on a couple of cross country driving adventures, following their flow, weeks and weeks away, keeping in touch by facebook along the journeys. It seemed to Dudley's friends like she was taking Dudley from them, but I could only think: Dudley knows what he's doing. Dudley isn't fickle. They were gone so much on long drives and shorter trips we seldom saw Dudley anymore. I thought of them like Jack and Jenny in the meadow together the first month, each focused so totally on the other that distractions didn't register; the best place for me, the other side of the fence. I saw by way of knowing Dudley that he and Muffet were in that focus and I thought nothing of it. They will be back. I felt like this New Years party with the wedding was an announcement to Dudley's world of neighbors and friends in this part of his life that they're back. They will hit the road again, but they haven't forgotten their friends. Muffet has extended herself generously to Dudley's friends. I don't even question Dudley's good sense marrying her. It's Dudley's life. It's his decision. With advanced gray hair he has a right to live by his own decisions. I take it from Dudley's affection for Muffet there is plenty about her that's worth having around. As I gradually become acquainted with Muffet, I'm automatically drawn to her because Dudley is. We get along very well, talk straight-forward and frankly with each other. She has extended herself to Dudley's friends as openly as though they were her own, and without being put-on and false about it. Like Dudley, Muffet is who she is and if you're looking for something different, well you can keep on looking someplace else.
 
 
todd smith and his wife jo ellen watch the vow

 
Dudley and I have known each other right at ten years. It was summer of 1993 I contacted him about teaching me to be a dj at the Sparta AM station WCOK for a radio show I was starting with regional music. He was new to the county from DC where his career was in radio. At the time, he was making commercials for the Sparta station and helping out the station in supportive ways. We started with his computerized sound equipment making a cd for each week's show, commercials, songs in place. He had a computerized setup that was impressive in what it could do, esp to somebody who only wants a computer for a glorified typewriter. Dudley could make an audio play of the Three Bears, speaking the role for every character and they all be different. I mentioned that one only because it was first to come to mind. I'd guess he could do Winnie The Pooh as well with different voices. All I'm getting at is Dudley has a trained and practiced vocal talent for radio talking. He taught me how to plan a show down to the seconds. I wanted to learn the rules of the studio, wanted to do the show live, spontaneously as possible, though without it being so loose it falls apart. The main thing was that Dudley put me at ease with the studio. I understood it before I started and from there on learned by doing. Dudley sings choral music with the local Camerata, likes choral music, opera, Broadway, and I like mountain music and rock. We've often laughed over how our musical tastes cancel each other. Guy Lombardo and Rage Against The Machine. In my small world of people I call my friends, Dudley matters. Now Muffet matters too.
 
12 o'clock: whistle and selfie time
 
 
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