SELFIE AS EQUINE ASS

A few weeks ago I made the decision to put the false out of my life, to stop paying attention to politicians and their absence of concern for we the people except as the enemy to destroy to get out of the way. I see on the corporate news how severely another country is criticized for arresting people in political demonstrations. Yet, here at home, corporate press pays no mind to American citizens arrested for political demonstrations, pepper spray squirted into their eyes with intent to destroy the individual, most often a woman when they do that. I see so much hatred for women in the politicians that it makes me question why I didn't see earlier how far a very large percentage of men look down on women and want to harm them. Maybe it's because I'm not of that mind and pay no attention to it. I can't stop them or change them, nor would I want to, but I can let them go their way and I'll go mine. It finally came to me that I am wasting more attention on them than they are worth. My attention is my power, and I decided to withdraw my power from them, take it back. It used to churn my guts to see a picture of supreme parrot Ted Cruz for his ignorance so profound that even as a brain-dead robot he cannot possibly believe any of what he says publicly. I came to see that feeling revulsion for him is giving him attention too. I see his picture or some headline of another inanity from him that makes Sarah Palin look a PhD in quantum physics and I feel revulsion. They are being used for their ignorance to appeal to the people of third grade comprehension. Think tank strategy. It works. But I don't want it in my head. They can all go take a walk.

 

marino marini

 

One day I told myself this is it--no more. I hear bits of news now, though I've stopped being concerned about any of it. I see quips on facebook nearly every day, something, somebody telling me I need to "get angry." An article will be introduced, "If this doesn't make you angry, nothing will." I say no every time I see one. Whenever I've taken the bait and read the article, the only thing that makes me angry is that I took the bait. To get angry over something I have no say in the matter will only lead to frustration, suppressing the anger and falling into depression. For John Boner and Mitch McConnell? I think not. I can't get angry about orphans with AIDS in Africa. I'm sympathetic, would love to help them, but I'm an American living in poverty, meaning I have nothing left over to give to at least a million mournful causes, not even one. I can't change anything in the political arena. I'm not a corporation that can make laws at will. I can't take a Senator to lunch at the club and slip a roll of hundred dollar bills into his pocket. If I went into the coffee shop and one of them was in there, I'd turn around and go back out the door. So why do I pay attention to them, to like or dislike? I would never shake hands with one, would never get close enough to one to touch hands. So why do I give them my attention that is my own? I started to see that putting them out of my mind will leave room for something else. Same day I made the decision, I was invited by Ruth to the Daily Creative Practice group on facebook. Several artists show what we're doing, get feedback, give feedback, enjoy meeting new people. Since tapping into this online group I've noticed rather significantly that my inner light is coming on, like raising venetian blinds on a sunny day.

 

marino marini

 

Looking at what the others are doing in the Daily Creative Practice group, connecting with them, making my own contributions, getting feedback, enjoying the ones I've become acquainted with by way of comment boxes. People I could see in a shopping center and never suspect they were doing some very nice explorations in a variety of art forms. I've been engaged with them long enough by now that I'm getting a feel for the art forms of the different ones, a feel for what they're doing. My appreciation grows every day. Earlier today in town, I had several places to go and visited with one or more people I saw at every stop, sometimes briefly, sometimes with a little time. Went into Farmer's Hardware for bird seed and found a mineral block for the four-leggeds. I was hoping Marsha would be there and she was. We talk about equines, donkeys and horses. She knows them well, passes to me valuable information on taking care of them and knowing them. I remembered a dream from the night while we were talking and told it. It amounted to something like a three second video on youtube. The back end of a reddish brown horse kind of jumping and bucking, alone next to the mailbox. It's neck and head were white and gray with black spots. Marsha suggested I attempt to analyze it to see what it is. A tall order, indeed. I'll make a brief go at it. First, I think it is a reference to a print by Marino Marini I posted here a couple days ago of two parts of a horse, the back end and the neck and head. That was all I saw of this dream horse. The back end was the color of earth that all comes from and returns to, even Barbie. The head and neck the colors of duality, black and white. The head the seat of the mind where duality resides. The back end of the horse might be pre-duality, pre-forebrain. The self that is the physical body, the horse's earth-colored back end. The self that is the mind, the black and white head. The horse's one move was a backwards kick like a donkey, but awkward like it had never tried this move before.

 

marino marini

 

I'm guessing the subconscious was seeing the Marini horse in the print and it surfaced in a dream in color and black & white. The horse in the print is in motion too. I've an idea my appreciation retained the image and the subconscious mind played with it in unconscious photoshop. I've looked at Marini's image with much admiration and suppose mind retained it and imagined it into life as a horse in motion, the gesture Marini's image caught. Back end colored like a horse, front end colored like a dog. The head and neck tame, the back end wild. An image of the human condition. Duality within duality. As for what it had to say to me, I am the human condition too. It even seems like a trick a donkey would play on me, or a trick mind would play too. Remaking Marini's horse. Like Duchamp's Nude Descending the Staircase is Cubism in motion, the dream was Marini's print of the horse in motion. I don't feel like the dream is something like a tarot reading, just an image, a remake. The horse appeared on the place where I feed the crows in the morning. It was a spirited horse in the way Jenny is a spirited donkey. Maybe it was telling me I'm a horse's ass. That would be difficult to argue against. It might have been saying: You think you're somebody big and spiritual, but it's all in your head; the rest of you is ass. Now I feel like we're getting somewhere. If I were asked by a judge in court under oath if I'm a horse's ass, I'd have to say yes. It can be proven in court; to say no would be perjury. I'm going to let it rest there. I feel like that's either it or close. Thanks, Marsha. That was an insightful assignment. Another good day's adventure focusing my attention on home, on my world, the people in my world, the people who are my world. It's so much better for the heart than dwelling in the false.    

 

marino marini

 

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