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Friday, October 9, 2009



It's a summer day again, perhaps Indian Summer, the leaves turning mostly yellow, some reds coming through. The mountain vistas are showing lots of color now, more every day. Lovely day, wispy clouds, thin, floating across the clear blue in no hurry, Chinese dragons. A slow and steady rate of speed. Always the same speed. Woolly worms have one speed. With all those feet, it seems like there wouldn't be much possible variation in speed.

Woke this morning at 8 kind of suddenly like the phone rang, but it didn't. The first thing I felt on waking was the stress was gone. Evidently I'd worked everything out while resting in sleep. The best way. Keep the conscious mind out of it. Tossing and turning, unable to get to sleep, then it happened. I don't recall dreams, but I must have been busy inside, because all was settled and calm by the time I woke. I've felt at ease all day where the stress is concerned.

One of the deals the subconscious had to work with was that recognition of Jr as a sort of surrogate daddy put me on edge a little bit, thinking if that's what it is, then it isn't much. Then realized it was not that at all. Might have been a motivation for sure, but it wasn't all of it. Just a part. If that's all there were, I couldn't have gone this far with Jr. This is loyalty to a friend, to a friend who told me I am the only friend he has who has never shit him at least a time or 2.

The day 5 concerned friends found where he had 6 gallons of the best liquor on this earth, and stole some of it and threw the rest out was an outrage. It was a Puritan assault by hypocrites. It obviously never entered their minds there's a liquor store in town. All they did was cost him a few hundred dollars in their self-righteous adventure.

One of them I could not believe was among them. I found it hard to believe when Jr told me he was one of them. I said, Not Jimmy. He wouldn't do that. Jr smiled and said, Yes he would, he has before. I said, Jimmy? He nodded and said, Yep. I spent the rest of that day and the whole next day with the blues finding out that Jimmy was not as loyal a friend to Jr as I believed him to be. Jean and I were the only ones who did not participate in their hypocrite act. Not only that, but a friend of Jr's was hiding 3 half gallons of his own in Jr's basement. They stole it too.

Just like they all knew would be the case, Jr received it without a word. He started buying his liquor at the liquor store after that. It wasn't near as good. One of his nieces, the one who calls herself his bad niece, jealous of another one, finds his liquor in the house when he's not home (looking for hidden money) and pours it out, putting the empty bottle back. A note to let him know she'd been there. All she did was cost him $20. It never enters her mind such efforts at control where it's none of her business could do anything but endear her to him. I don't think she's ever had a rational thought in her life, seriously. I'm not stretching imagination.

I've never lied to Jr about anything, nor misled him, used him, abused him or taken advantage of him in any way. I don't attempt to control my friends. I'm loyal to my friends. Jr is too. I was shocked when I realized my natural loyalty to a friend made me the only of the people close to Jr who have not shit him. One of the Absentee Police was in on the prohibition event, one Jr has found to be a disappointment when his hopes were so high.

By this time the buzzards have gone off someplace else. Buzzards can only circle for so long waiting for something to die and they give out, need to go find something already dead. I recall that hard saying from Jesus, 'Let the dead bury the dead.' Like, come on, fellers, we have work to do. Finally in my later years I feel like I have come to understand what he was saying by experience living in the world. I'll tell you one he did not mean when he said 'the dead,' was Jr Maxwell. Jr is a very much alive spirit, even as he is now.

I could name a couple of others I'm certain have been as loyal a friend as I have been. There is Jerry Edwards. I know Jr would trust Jerry before he'd trust me. I have no argument with that. In fact, I prefer it to be that way. Jerry is of Jr's culture and has known him all his life. Jerry's dad was Jr's close friend. Jerry was not one of them stealing Jr's liquor. Jerry wouldn't. They wouldn't even ask him to help, knowing in advance he wouldn't. I was outraged at the sanctimonious mob in that time for their betrayal of his friendship, which Jr gives so openly and values so forgivingly.

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