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Thursday, June 18, 2009


morning shadows 18jun09

Lies and lies and more lies and heaps of lies, attempts to create reality by repetition of lies. I've found myself in a whirlwind of lies, coverups, power issues, consciously being lied about with an agenda. I'm like an elephant, slow to forget. I may forget a lot of details, but I don't forget a whirlwind of lies by people I thought were my friends, who'd better not ever call me on the telephone or smile at me in person. They've lied so much about me, though, they already know better than to call me for any reason. Even if they don't know I know, they know they've told a heap of lies on me, and their consciences won't allow them to call me. They're on a mission they think is at my expense, when it is not.

It's mental pirhanas that eat at the mind and get my mind going in ways I don't like it to go. It's mostly over now. I took a long walk in the green world to let my mind go where it wanted to go. I couldn't stop the thinking, so I let it have some rein, and had a look at what it was I was stewing about. What I came to was seeing they're working against themselves and I'll step back and let them. It's mental workings that cause me to pull together the principles of the martial arts, which work as well in mental challenges as they do physical. I asked a master of the martial arts how you handle it when several people are at you. He said it's no problem. They can only come at you one at a time, so you take care of them one at a time. Steven Seagal choreographs the principle for film.

Again, we're in archetypal human behavior that goes back all the way to monkeys. I think of the Carter Family Song, You Better Leave That Liar Alone. That's what I'll do. Leave the liars alone. I don't want their karma rubbing against me. And I don't want their filth in my ears. My preference is for people who speak the truth when they speak, at least the truth as they know it, allowing for individual privacy. And there are an awful lot of people like that. So many really honest people around that I can feel like I'm in a good life among them. Honest people and dishonest people don't mix very well. I feel so much better when I'm talking with someone I know is not bulling me in any way, than talking with somebody you know couldn't tell the truth if he thought he was lying.

There's a darkness around lying that the people doing it take for affirming they're alive, for some odd reason or other. Like Lou Reed's song, Heroin, "cause it makes me feel like I'm a man / when I put a spike into my vein." That clenching darkness that goes with lying gives the false sense that it's ennervating, makes you feel alive. Ultimately, it doesn't matter about lying at all. People that want to lie will lie, making it something we live with in everyday life, fact and fiction blending into a state of mind that isn't certain about anything. When we're talking with somebody we know is prone to untruth, we don't pay attention, like watching tv commercials. We don't believe or disbelieve. And don't care. It's too crazy a weave to try to untangle. So it goes in one ear and out the other.

That's a liar's credibility. In one ear and out the other. The reason the Bible recommends against it is that it distorts one's own reality into something unreal and disconnected from the true self. That kind of burden on the soul is a heavy one that keeps one awake at night. Seems to me this world is illusion enough without making it all the moreso constructing reality out of false timbers. It makes dysfunctional thinking, thus dysfunctional behavior, and being known as a liar. Hooray. Doesn't seem like much of a reward. It is a reward, just not much of one. One I think of on the negative side of the scale.

These are people who don't understand the natural law that everything comes back, you get what you give. Emote and gush lies, and guess what--they'll all turn around and come back. Again, all I have to do is get out of the way and watch the boomerang show. They've already set their own karma in motion. None of them are people I want to be around anyway. I'll miss nothing. Would rather read a good book. A good book is so much better company than that kind of mind. So glad I took the walk in the green world. I can sleep restfully now.

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